We saw Cold War Kids live in San Diego the night we broke up. This was the the last song they played. Your arms were around my waist and I was pressed against your chest, but then I heard:

You get older, it gets worse. 

You be the good one that gives it up first,

Or the bad one that never gets hurt. 

Something about the words rang true and I unconsciously looked back at you. You were suddenly holding me far too tightly, your face completely white, drawn in a series of painful angles that I had never seen before but instinctively knew that I caused.

I realized with a blinding clarity that you couldn’t stop washing away something tainted, something impure. You would avoid walking on sidewalk because of the cracks and in three months, I went the reason you could breathe during your panic attacks to the anxiety itself. You were giving us up first.  

It took me almost a year to realize that I routinely leave just so I won’t be left, that I never get hurt. 

Got some quality sketching in on the cabin trip this weekend

Got some quality sketching in on the cabin trip this weekend

quick sketch of the pretty girl across from me at the coffee shop on my pastry bag. 

quick sketch of the pretty girl across from me at the coffee shop on my pastry bag. 

October 5th

nopostagerequired:

366 days ago, the night we before we got together, I called you when I was too drunk. You came and picked me up. The alcohol made me brave so I tried to kiss you and tell you how I felt. You just smiled and told me I wasn’t thinking clearly. You tucked me into bed then left my room. The same thing happened around a week ago, but I wasn’t drunk and you aren’t coming back. 

How To Be A Straight Ally

DO

  • feed people of all sexualities pizza, give them hugs if they want them, and continue life as normal. 
  • say yes if a friend wants to take you to pride. that shit is rad. 
  • recognize your heterosexual privilege. it’s there, trust me. now that we’ve agreed on that, try and avoid being part of heteronormative bullshit. (if people who don’t know your sexuality as a girl and ask you if “you have a boyfriend” it’s making an assumption that may not be true. try not to make assumptions about anyone’s sexuality and use blanket terms like “in a relationship”.)
  • reject homophobic insults like “gay” and “faggot” and if someone uses one, let them know that it’s not going to fly 
  • be flattered, not freaked out if you get respectfully flirted with by a LGBPTTQQIIAA+ person. if someone thinks you’re cute, that’s fucking rad. you can say no to them just as easily as anyone else, not a big deal. 

DO NOT

  • describe anyone as your “LGBPTTQQIIAA+* friend”. If you put their sexuality on display before your friendship, something is wrong. 
  • use your friendship with a LGBPTTQQIIAA+* friend as proof of your *cool* and *accepting* attitude in front of other people
  • force stereotypes on to  LGBPTTQQIIAA+ friends based on their innate sexual preferences. I know plenty of gay boys that have zero desire to go shopping with you and would prefer to grab a beer and catch the game. 
  • make their coming out about you. if they’re coming out to you, chances they think/hope you’re hella rad and accepting. you probably don’t need to make a monologue about how accepting YOU are in GENERAL. depends on the situation, but find a way to make sure THEY SPECIFICALLY feel accepted.  anything from a celebratory high five, a short heartfelt note after they come out, or a warm hug might be the way to go. 
  • try and set them up unless they ask/hint that they want to be set up. sometimes single and not ready/wanting to mingle happen
  • treat them any differently than you did before they shared this personal information 

REMEMBER: being a straight ally is AMAZING, but straight allies know that being a straight ally shouldn’t make them special or unique. A real straight ally knows that their attitude should simply be the norm. 

*LGBPTTQQIIAA+ stands for represents Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Pansexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Intergender, Asexual, Ally. It’s a bit of a mouthful, but it’s a great way to refer to non heterosexual identity so no one is excluded

Let's Talk About Spaceships

Anything but you and me, OK? 

Local Natives | Who Knows Who Cares | A Take Away Show

Everything is going to be OK eventually. 

Summer Fiction | Chandeliers

You were mine, under the chandeliers. 

OCD

And it’s not quite OCD, but the thought of being without you for the rest of my life seems to take the air out of my lungs and you’ve become an impossibility attached to a ritual, just like you said.