I just want back in your head.
I’m not unfaithful but I’ll stray
When I get a little scared.
Now you wanna cry
Call me a cheater
Left you to die
Though I did neither
Thought that it would
That it would be best for me
366 days ago, the night we before we got together, I called you when I was too drunk. You came and picked me up. The alcohol made me brave so I tried to kiss you and tell you how I felt. You just smiled and told me I wasn’t thinking clearly. You tucked me into bed then left my room. The same thing happened around a week ago, but I wasn’t drunk and you aren’t coming back.
- feed people of all sexualities pizza, give them hugs if they want them, and continue life as normal.
- say yes if a friend wants to take you to pride. that shit is rad.
- recognize your heterosexual privilege. it’s there, trust me. now that we’ve agreed on that, try and avoid being part of heteronormative bullshit. (if people who don’t know your sexuality as a girl and ask you if “you have a boyfriend” it’s making an assumption that may not be true. try not to make assumptions about anyone’s sexuality and use blanket terms like “in a relationship”.)
- reject homophobic insults like “gay” and “faggot” and if someone uses one, let them know that it’s not going to fly
- be flattered, not freaked out if you get respectfully flirted with by a LGBPTTQQIIAA+ person. if someone thinks you’re cute, that’s fucking rad. you can say no to them just as easily as anyone else, not a big deal.
- describe anyone as your “LGBPTTQQIIAA+* friend”. If you put their sexuality on display before your friendship, something is wrong.
- use your friendship with a LGBPTTQQIIAA+* friend as proof of your *cool* and *accepting* attitude in front of other people
- force stereotypes on to LGBPTTQQIIAA+ friends based on their innate sexual preferences. I know plenty of gay boys that have zero desire to go shopping with you and would prefer to grab a beer and catch the game.
- make their coming out about you. if they’re coming out to you, chances they think/hope you’re hella rad and accepting. you probably don’t need to make a monologue about how accepting YOU are in GENERAL. depends on the situation, but find a way to make sure THEY SPECIFICALLY feel accepted. anything from a celebratory high five, a short heartfelt note after they come out, or a warm hug might be the way to go.
- try and set them up unless they ask/hint that they want to be set up. sometimes single and not ready/wanting to mingle happen
- treat them any differently than you did before they shared this personal information
REMEMBER: being a straight ally is AMAZING, but straight allies know that being a straight ally shouldn’t make them special or unique. A real straight ally knows that their attitude should simply be the norm.
*LGBPTTQQIIAA+ stands for represents Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Pansexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Intergender, Asexual, Ally. It’s a bit of a mouthful, but it’s a great way to refer to non heterosexual identity so no one is excluded
Everything is going to be OK eventually.